Sunday, March 18, 2012
Together
The panther paces at our feet, content.
A sleeping apple drops into your palm.
So many centimeters
the inchworm
takes in a single measure.
We ride it like some kind
of cosmic hoist -
lifting us - yes - into
the sky.
Cloud shuttled and cloud set
into the sea.
Two swimmers haunted
by incarnations.
Two sailors boarding
a gossamer hulk:
exorcising, mapping like
priests, sextons
(of one another).
Delightful journey.
Fair winds, playful dolphins
and flying fish
(skimming along the water
like warm rain).
We watch
from the belt of the equator
lingering
(where the water is so still).
Sun melting into so many colors
(into your face, your irises,
your hair).
You begin to explain
everything
and quietly
I try to understand.
-wordpioneer
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OK, I'm going to critique my own poem written just this past Sunday morning:
ReplyDeleteNot sure the first two lines work for me with the references to Rilke and Lorca "Panther" and "The
Sleep of Apples". Cloud shuttled and cloud set-- a weaving reference isolated from the rest of the poem. Then comes the likeness to Coleridge with the "gossamer hulk". Not very original IMHO. Like the 'flying fish skimming along the water like warm rain'. Remember seeing them while in the Navy. They were very cool and would sometimes be picked up by an updraft and "fly" over the ship. Loved that. I'm a sucker for the "sun melting...into your hair". Can't help it. Hopeless romantic...